Ultimate springtime golf fitness tips for "real" golfers

By Tim McDonald,
National Golf Editor

For those of you unfortunate enough to live in the North, you must be salivating at the thought of the spring golf season.

Hold on, Tiger. You ain't the man you used to be. You can't just jump up and go straight to the golf course after a long winter of sloth and mold.

Now, you will find any number of charlatans willing to sell you their total golf fitness regimens. These sleazoids always assume you're a golfer interested in a cleaner, healthier way of living and golfing. I've seen you out on the course, and I know that's not the sort of thing you're "into."

So here is my total golf fitness regimen for the "real" golfer:

• For God's sake, you have to strengthen your core! This involves eating really hard food, like jawbreakers. Eat a bag of those and have your neighbor punch you in the gut to see if your core is all it can be.

Options: Month-old fudge, Purina Dog Chow, pine bark.

• You also have to really work your obliques, I mean really work the hell out of them. Here's the perfect exercise for that. Lie flat on your back with knees bent slightly wider than your hips. If you have really fat hips, you're either going to have to really stretch your knees like in a cartoon, like The Elastic Man from India, or just skip this exercise. In fact, if you have really fat hips, just skip playing golf, nobody wants to see you out on the course.

Now, you slim-hipped people reach your hands to the ceiling like you're crying out for the Lord Jesus Christ to spare you from your miserable existence. You can hold light hand-weights, or not. What do I care? Lift your head and chest toward the ceiling and rotate to reach both hands just outside of your fat, right knee. Repeat on the left side. Now, take a breather. Ask Christ for forgiveness.

• Breathing exercises: Breathing properly and deeply is critical, especially for those tense moments on the course when normally you would start crying.
This deep-breathing exercise involves attending your local adult movie house, or calling up one of those sites on your Internet browser. Follow your instincts. It's either that or follow mine, and then you're looking at jail time.
• Horizontal abduction/adduction: I can't give you much help here, because I always get "horizontal" confused with "vertical," and I have no idea what adduction is. Who came up with that word, anyway? It's a stupid word and should be eliminated from the English language, if it's even English.

• Standing hip rotation: Don't do this. It makes you look like a girl.

• Alcohol fitness: How many times have you lost $2 Nassaus because while you were getting hamboned, your playing partners were just holding up that bottle of Jack Black pretending to drink?

Well, no need to waste good liquor. You can still drink and maintain your competitive edge. You just need to build up a tolerance. Stand upright in a dark closet, with a wide stance, and suck it down. Keep drinking until your wife leaves you.

• Aerobics: Ha! Don't make me laugh. This is golf!

• Putting: Don't bother to practice putting. Putting in golf is overrated. I play golf maybe 200 times a year and I've yet to meet anyone who can putt. You either make it or you don't. If you miss, just keep putting until the ball goes in the hole. Simple.

• Seniors: As we age, our bodies react differently, so seniors must prepare for golf differently than young punks. An important thing to remember is that there is an inverse relationship of increased ear hair to laughably short drives off the tee.

So keep those ear hairs trim and neat. If you're proud of your thick mane of ear hair, don't sweat it. If you're short off the tee, you're probably small in other areas, and I think you know what I'm talking about.

• Excuses: A healthy psychological outlook is a must for Better Golf. If you can convince yourself that the snap hook you hit into the weeds over there is not your doing at all, you'll retain the confidence needed to excel in the game.

The first time you smack one of your all-too-typical lousy shots, turn to your playing partner and snarl," "Will you stop that!" Look at him, looking all hurt and everything. Who would have thought golf fitness could be so much fun?

• Torque development in the downswing: This is so important, I can barely contain myself. This is vital to any golfer who has ever wanted to improve his score. You could even say it is absolutely critical in terms of reaching your full potential as a golfer and knowing what it is to be truly human.

• Alignment and posture: Face the target squarely and stand erect, with your rump jutting out slightly. Feels a little silly, doesn't it? Can you think of another situation in life where you would position yourself in such an odd manner? I can't.

DEVILS ROLL PAST CENTENARY

MADISON, NJ – The College at Florham Devils knocked off Centenary, 309-380, on Monday afternoon at the Morris County Golf Club. Junior Greg Stockley (Red Bank, NJ/Middletown South) led the way for FDU, shooting a match-low 74.

Junior Pat Walsh (Bernardsville, NJ/Chatham) shot a 77 whole sophomore Dennis Kimble (Bridgewater, NJ/Bridgewater Raritan) shot a 78.

The Devils return to action on Friday, April 4, 2008, at the Moravian Tournament beginning at Noon.

Wesley Claims Sixth at Pine Needles - Feb 26, 2008

SOUTHERN PINES, N.C. - Wesley College dropped five places after a final round delayed by thunderstorms at the Pine Needles Intercollegiate hosted by Guilford. The Wolverines captured sixth with a two-day 612 after tying for first after the first day.

Mike Rushin led the Wolverines with a 17th place finish of 74-76-150. Will Scarborough, who held a two-stroke lead after shooting a 69 in the first round, tied for 22nd with an 84 in the final round to finish at 153. Andrew Geyer was one of five golfers tied with Scarborough after shooting a 75-78. Chris Osberg and Riley Powers each shot 80s in both rounds to tie for 40th with matching totals of 160.

Wesley had tied Averett for first and it was a difficult final round for the Cougars as well. Averett fell to fifth in the final standings, two strokes ahead of the Wolverines.

Belmont Abbey, third after day one, came back to claim the individual crown in the 10-team field.

Pete Latimer claimed the individiual title with a 71-72-143.

The Wolverines are now idle until competing in the McDaniel Spring Invitational on March 29-30. The event will be held in Abbottstown, Pennsylvania.

2008 Senior Open Can Boast Of Volunteers From All 50 States

By David Shefter, USGA

Far Hills, N.J. - Ron Diltz and Mike Kelly first became acquainted when their sons began playing high school football in Anchorage, Alaska. They quickly discovered a mutual love for outdoor activities – hunting, fishing and even golf – and their friendship soon extended beyond Friday night games.

Even after Kelly moved back to his native Colorado in 1999, the two remained close. Last year, they went pheasant hunting in North Dakota.

This summer, the get-together will take place a little closer to Kelly’s backyard in Colorado Springs. With the U.S. Senior Open heading to The Broadmoor, Kelly signed up to be a volunteer for the championship. And he thought it would be a neat idea to bring his buddy down from Alaska to share in the activity.

“I sucked him in,” said Kelly. “I only live a couple of miles from [The Broadmoor], so it seemed like the right thing to do.”

Diltz will be one of many individuals making a long trek to Colorado Springs this July to be part of the 3,000-plus volunteer force for the Senior Open (July 31-Aug. 3). In fact, this year’s championship will have volunteers from all 50 states. It’s the first time that a volunteer from every state has participated in the same championship.

Colorado residents understandably make up 78.5 percent of the volunteers, but others have decided to travel considerable distances to help out. Diltz will journey 3,275 miles; Sandra Webb from Kailua Kona, Hawaii has the farthest hike, at 3,309 miles.

The USGA would have a difficult time conducting championships without volunteers' participation. (John Mummert/USGA)

The participation from near and far even had the management company that handles the U.S. Senior Open for the USGA pleasantly surprised.

“It’s very unusual [to have all 50 states represented],” said Jeff Yeager, the volunteer manager for Bruno Event Team. “I would say 40 to 45 states [is normal], but to get over the 45 mark, it’s something of a unique status.”

Part of the lure is this year’s site. The Broadmoor is a world-class resort located in an area where there are plenty of alternative activities when people are not on-site working. Yeager said The Broadmoor, which attracts guests from throughout the world, also solicited volunteers through various means of communication.

“We had started a waiting list of about 100 volunteers, but after looking at a few numbers, we have almost added all 100 of those [people] from our waiting list,” said Yeager. “So it’s been really terrific.”

Some people love being a part of the championship so much that they keep coming back. Arkansas residents Jack Cato and his brother-in-law Bill Foster will be making their fourth consecutive appearance at the Senior Open. They first volunteered at the 2005 event at the NCR Club outside of Dayton, Ohio.

“We’ve made the Senior Open part of our summer vacations so we can get out and see new parts of the country,” said Cato, who is retired. “This will be our first visit to Colorado and I am excited to see the state and the Rocky Mountains.”

In 2005, the two served on the transportation committee. Last year, they were walking scorers. Cato went with Jim Thorpe and R.W. Eaks in the final round. In ’05, Cato said he drove Gil Morgan, Fuzzy Zoeller and Thorpe. He also got to meet Tom Watson. This year, they will be on-course marshals, just like in 2006 at Prairie Dunes in Hutchinson, Kan.

“Especially in transportation, you get to meet a lot of [contestants] because you are right there with them,” said Cato. “When you are working out on the course, you see them but you don’t necessarily get to talk with them.

“But we’ve enjoyed it and it’s been a good experience. We haven’t decided if we are going to do it next year [at Crooked Stick] or not. We’ll probably make that decision after this year’s tournament.”

Of course, having the championship in a smaller market like Colorado Springs, which does not have major sporting events on an annual basis, also adds an element of excitement not found in a major metropolis. The 1999 U.S. Senior Open in Des Moines, Iowa, drew some 50,000 spectators for the final round.

The retired Kelly moved back to Colorado Springs after a working in oil business in California and Alaska in the 1980s.

“You can get lost in places like Denver and Atlanta, but not here,” said Kelly. “An event like this is a pretty big deal for us.”

Just seeing a major golf event in person is a big opportunity for Diltz. Alaska is one state that has never hosted a USGA championship. Outside of the Iditarod dogsled race, the state is devoid of nationally recognized sporting events.

Diltz admitted that his outdoor activities of choice are hunting and fishing. But he does enjoy an occasional round of golf, including an indoor version played on a simulator. Alaska’s outdoor golf season is quite short, so many people play indoors during the harsh winters to keep their swings in rhythm.

“I’m just a weekend hacker,” said Diltz, a sales manager for an office supply company in Anchorage. “But I’m excited … to watch some of my idols. I still don’t know what we will be doing. It probably will be gallery control. No matter what it is, it will be fun.”

Inexperience can lead to golf outing headaches

Helpful hints to aid the search

Keeping it fun

• Find a trusted co-worker or friend who knows his golf to lend a hand with the planning.
• Book a resort or venue that offers activities other than golf.
• Choose a course that is familiar with hosting events and tournaments.
• Don't group players by handicap.
• Plan a social event for before or after the golf outing.

Even on the sunniest of days, putting together a round of golf can be a challenge. For the business owner planning his first golfing event, the logistics can be overwhelming.

"No one realizes how much planning goes into your first golf outing," said Kenn Klarich, golf sales manager at Château Élan in Braselton.

Teaming up with a well-connected sales person at the right golf venue will ensure that a good time will be had by all.

Whether hosting a golf tournament for employees, clients, vendors or a mix, keeping the event low-key can avoid the stresses that come along with a competitive sport.

Top Players of 2007

Player of the Year

The DSGA Player of the Year for 2007 is Eric Onesi of Newark CC. Eric was the 2006 Junior Player of the Year, the 2007 Amateur Runner-Up, and Low 6 in the Open Championship. He is a recipient of a DSGA scholarship and is currently attending Old Dominion University

Junior Player of the Year

The DSGA Junior Player of the Year for 2007 is Justin Martinson, of Hartefeld National GC. Justin is the 2007 Junior Champion, and qualified for both the Amateur and Open Championships.

Senior Player of the Year

The DSGA Senior Player of the Year for 2007 is Charles McClaskey of The Club at Patriots Glen. Charles is the 2007 Senior Champion and finished Low 4 in the Tournament of Champions

Wesley Claims Sixth at Pine Needles

SOUTHERN PINES, N.C. - Wesley College dropped five places after a final round delayed by thunderstorms at the Pine Needles Intercollegiate hosted by Guilford. The Wolverines captured sixth with a two-day 612 after tying for first after the first day.

Mike Rushin led the Wolverines with a 17th place finish of 74-76-150. Will Scarborough, who held a two-stroke lead after shooting a 69 in the first round, tied for 22nd with an 84 in the final round to finish at 153. Andrew Geyer was one of five golfers tied with Scarborough after shooting a 75-78. Chris Osberg and Riley Powers each shot 80s in both rounds to tie for 40th with matching totals of 160.

Wesley had tied Averett for first and it was a difficult final round for the Cougars as well. Averett fell to fifth in the final standings, two strokes ahead of the Wolverines.

Belmont Abbey, third after day one, came back to claim the individual crown in the 10-team field.

Pete Latimer claimed the individiual title with a 71-72-143.

The Wolverines are now idle until competing in the McDaniel Spring Invitational on March 29-30. The event will be held in Abbottstown, Pennsylvania.